i have no one to pour all my things out. yes i have my dearest siying farah melissa and drusi. but still i feel v bottled up. btw gals thanks fer being there fer me. and also all frens who acc me in skools. u guys brighten up my life.

i suddenly feel v lost. utterly totally disgustingly! firstly. my o's. im trying very very very hard to cope up. but guess wad. for my CT1 i have flunk many subjects:

english - 23/50 (pp2 onli)
chinese - 38.6%
comb sci - 37%
comb humans - 23%

the average ones:
physics - 60%
amths - 68.6%
emaths - 81%

aint they perfectly "great" ? i reali dunno wad can i do. now im tryin my plans wid having a home timetable and cut down my outings and always come home straight after skool to study ! frens in skools who sees me, pls do remind me to go home sraight after skool. thanks =))

other den all these stuffs. there r still many many more stuffs. i reali cant see myself being tat strong in the future years. reali hav got no idea wad i should do. everyday i dun feel like coming home. but i have no choice. comin home is always sooooo quiet. parents working. brother NS. frens in skool r alrite. but at times i dun feel like goin to skool too. skool sumtimes look as if im leaving in a devil's world. u'll neva noe who is toking behind ur back. and u'll neva noe who's nice and who's not nice to u. they may put a bright smile in front of u. but behind a cunning smile tat no one sees. it reali pisses me off.

ive been tryin to tell myself to look on the bright side and live on wid life. but how ? how to live on wid life widout the greatest things beside u ? there's tis saying that goes "do treasure wad u hab now beofre its too late." but in fact how many pple actually treasure wad they hab ?

ive been living in my own dream world. since sec 1 till now i hab not actually woken up whereby i always say i hab. im jus tryin to bullshit wid myself. stupid eh? sigh~ answering myself. DUMB. anyway guess its a dream tat i have to reali reali wake up from. im still pondering over the msg. im reali pissed wid tat msg. u noe i didnt like it but u did it again. jus wad on earth r u thinking abt ? am i jus there fer a moment ? i would love to express myself. but im jus afraid. afraid of the worst.
yes i sure do miss. but den r u worth fer it ? left wid LESS den a month. i reali cant bear u noe ? i guess not.


oo well. readers cant understand wad im tryin to say? haa. im sorry. jus typing out everyting tat comes to my mind. so it isnt phrased wid perfect eng. i failed my eng anyway. SADDIST ! tis is my entry fer so long. i'll start a brand new one when things r settled down and over !